Big surprise for you today: It’s cold and rainy in Paris. And since I have friends family and loved ones from around the world snapping and sending and emailing me photos and messages about how beautiful and warm it is where they live, I decided, I too will share what my day is like from home to metro to office and back: rain edition.
- Oof, it’s raining.
- And, my umbrella’s broken.
- I guess I’ll try my hood.
- Then, the wind says: FUCK YOU, HOOD.
- Broken umbrella it is.
- Why do some people pretend it’s not raining?
- You have no umbrella. You’re getting wet. What, you’re too cool to rush?
- Are Parisians immune to rain water?
- I never took note of this in New York.
- Maybe New Yorkers are also immune to rain and opposed to rain-induced rushing.
- Also, does smoking that cigarette and popping your collar make the rain feel less wet?
- BUMPER UMBRELLAAASS!!!!
- Shucks, umbrella juice got all over me.
- PARDON! As my umbrella plays human wack-a-mole with an innocent man.
- Dirty look city!
- I’m sorry, but I said excuse me! Don’t give me the stank eye if I hit your face with my umbrella.
- You’re the one that’s ill equipped for…
- …Bumper umbrellas!!!!!
- WHY IS THE METRO SO FAR AWAY?!
- I should get a chauffeur.
- Or date an uber driver.
- Or spray my entire body with NeverWet.
- I wonder if that stuff actually works
- Il pleut comme les vaches qui pissent… (ENG: it’s raining like pissing cows)
- ..Les vaches qui ont beaucoup bu [du biere] (ENG: cows that drank a lot of beer)
- FML.
- My sock feels wet.
- Maybe both my socks feel wet. I can’t tell.
- Maybe my boot has a hole?
- EWWWW MUSHY FEET.
- I wish we had hand dryers at work.
- I spy with my little eye…something that issss…Hipster!
- …On a bike.
- How is this guy riding his bike right now? Def on his way to crazytown.
- OMG there’s a mom on a bike too. With her child in one of those life-sized bike basket!!
- I wish I was a small Parisian human in one of those basket/side-carts, sometimes.
- Finally.
- At work.
- Slightly moist.
Good day to you all.
[Wet, mushy] Poutoux from Paris,
Stephanie
